Stories from men in abusive relationships

Hello my name is Thomas*, I am 52 years old.  My mother abused me physically and mentally since I was a child. I was hospitalised four times before I was 10.  As a result of this abuse I have been in and out of psychiatric care throughout my life. I have not been able form relationships.


Hello my name is Stephen*, I am 42 years old, and I work two jobs. I have no access to money. My wages go into a joint account that only my wife has access to. My wife gives me €5 per week to buy lunch and personal needs. She fills the car with petrol every week and checks my mileage to make sure I do not go further than work and home. My wife does not include me in family meals and I often go hungry. I have been forced to borrow from family and friends- this is humiliating for me. If I ask my wife for more money she accuses me of not being a decent provider and how I should work harder. I have no social life or friends any more. I feel my life is not worth living.

My name is Andrew*, I am 28. My boyfriend has always had a bad temper, he hits, shouts and criticises me daily. He makes fun of me in front of our friends and tells me I am less than useless. He told me he can do better and has often cheated on me. I love him. I no longer work because I have become too anxious and find it hard to leave our apartment. This is another reason that my boyfriend hurts me, it’s probably my fault. 

domestic abuse stories

Hello my name is Sarah*, my son is 24 years old, and his girlfriend hits him!! She accuses him of being with other girls. Last week she attacked him, she scratched his face and arms because he did not answer his phone to her, this was after the 15th time she called while he was visiting me. He says he loves her and wants to make her better. My son has lost weight and has become very anxious, he no longer sees his friends or plays football. 

Hello my name is Richard*, I am 62 years old. My wife has always been controlling- she decides everything in our marriage, where we live, how many children we had,  when and where we holidayed, who my friends are, when I saw my family, she even cuts my hair. I cannot object or she will leave and take my children. 

*Not real names or faces to protect privacy, but actual stories of people who have contacted our service and been helped.